A wife that loses her husband is called a widow.
A husband that loses his wife is called a widower.
A child that loses their parents is called an orphan.
There is no word for a parent who loses a child...
That's just how awful the loss is.



I Am The Tears That Flow When You Weep

And The Dreams That Come While You Sleep

I'm The Smiles You See On A Baby's Face

Just Look For Me, Mommy I'm Everyplace

When God calls little children
to dwell with him above,
We mortals sometime question
the wisdom of his love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world,
seem wonderful and mild
Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to his fold,
 So He picks a rosebud,
before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believeing this is difficult still
somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows 
will always be "Goodbye."
So when a little child departs, 
we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.

(This poem was read by Ava's aunt Kristi at the funeral home)

Oh Mother, my mother
I touch your tears
invisible fingers
soothing your skin
I know you think of me so often
in the day, in the night,
in your dreams
going into an empty nursery
knowing I'll never be there
but I am...in your heart
in your soul, I shall always be
for you gave so unselfishly
of yourself.
Inside of you, you created
such a world for me
a world of laughter, of love
of sadness, of sorrow
every emotion people come to know
you shared with me.
And even though I may never
feel your arms around me
I felt your heart beating,
like a lullaby, singing me to sleep
and your spirit giving me a safe haven
already protecting me
preparing me of things to come.
But sometimes the journey
of life pulls souls apart
andyes, I had to go on
to another place.
I wish I could stay
I wish this was a decision
I could make
and I know you do too.
Know this wherever you are:
I will always remember
that yours was the first love
the first joy, the first soul
I will ever know
you gave me the courage to
go on in my journey
I hope I can do the same
for you
Your heart beat will always
call me to you.
Love, your child

(This poem was given to me with Ava's picture, by the bereavement staff at the hospital) 

Don’t tell me you know how I feel,
You haven’t walked in my shoes.
Don’t tell me I have other children to love,
That won’t bring back the daughter that I lost.
Don’t tell me to get out of the house,
Maybe I just want to stay here and mourn
for my lost daughter.
Don’t tell me it will get better,
From my point of view it will never be better.
Don’t tell me it could be worse,
How much worse than this could it be.
Don’t tell me to trust in God,
I do trust in Him and love Him,
That won’t bring my daughter back
Don’t tell me to eat and take care of myself,
Maybe the food won’t stay down.
Maybe I don’t care about myself right now.
Don’t tell me to try to get some sleep,
Don’t you think I would love to sleep?
Don’t tell me all this,
You haven’t walked in my shoes.
Do tell me you care.
Do tell me you love me.
Do tell me you will be there if I need you.
If I need to just talk to call you.
Or better yet, you call me.
Just listen, that’s all, just listen.
Do let me cry.
Do let me mourn.
Do let me experience this
terrible loss that I feel.
Do pray for me.
That is all I ask.

Once upon a time
there was a child ready to be born.
So one day he asked God:
They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow
but how am I going to live there
being so small and helpless?
Among the many angels, I chose one for you.
She will be waiting for you
and will take care of you.
But tell me, here in Heaven,
I don't do anything else but sing and smile,
that's enough for me to be happy.
Your angel will sing for you
and will also smile for you every day.
And you will feel your angel's love and be happy.
And how am I going to be able to understand
when people talk to me,
if I don't know the language that men talk?
Your angel will tell you the most beautiful
and sweet words you will ever hear,
and with much patience and care,
your angel will teach you how to speak.
And what am I going to do
when I want to talk to you?
Your angel will place your hands together
and will teach you how to pray.
I've heard that on earth there are bad men.
Who will protect me?
Your angel will defend you
even if it means risking its life.
But I will always be sad
because I will not see you anymore.
Your angel will always talk to you about me
and will teach you the way
for you to come back to me,
even though I will always be next to you.
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven,
but voices from earth could already be heard,
and the child in a hurry asked softly:
Oh God, if I am about to leave now,
please tell me my angel's name
Your angel's name is of no importance,
you will call your angel: Mommy!

My Child Did Exist


I've lost a child, I hear myself say,

And the person I'm talking to just turns away.

Now why did I tell them, I don't understand.

It wasn't for sympathy or to get a helping hand.

I just want them to know I've lost something dear.

I want them to know that my child was here.


My child left something behind which no one can see.

My child made just two people into a family.

So, if I've upset you, I'm sorry as can be.

You'll have to forgive me, I could not resist.

I just want you to know that my child did exist

Do not make me do anything I do not wish to do

Let me cry

Allow me to talk about the deceased

Do not force me to make quick decisions.

Let me act strangely sometimes.

Let me see that you are grieving, too.

When I am angry, do not discount it.

Do not speak to me in platitudes.

Listen to me, please!

Forgive me my trespasses, my rudeness and my thoughtlessness.

We Remember Them



In the rising of the sun
and in it's going down,



We remember them


In the blowing of the wind
and in the chill of the water,

We remember them

In the opening of the buds
and in the rebirth of spring,

We remember them

In the blueness of the sky
and in the warmth of summer,

We remember them

In the rustling of leaves
and in the beauty of autumn,

We remember them

In the beginning of the year
and when it ends,

We remember them

When we are weary
and in need of strength,

We remember them

When we are lost
and sick at heart,

We remember them

When we have joys
and we yearn to share,

We remember them

And especially as we gather
together today,

We remember them

As long as we live,
they too shall live.

We remember them





We live in the hearts
we leave behind.

Thomas Campbell